.. but it's only been six months. The most marvelous six months of my life.First of all, the Gourmet Pooch commercials got a fantastic reception. Afte... some trial runs in Baltimore and Portland, Philo Phoods decided to give them to all the networks for prime time viewing. And then the magic started happening. Variety raved over Chef Fido and me, saying: 'Beauty and the Beast... Boffo!' Advertising Weekly called the commercials 'masterpieces of advertising art... mouth-watering on all levels.... ‘Don’t be silly Pauline, I want you to have lots of accidents, I promise that as soon as you’re through the front door I will give you your first ever pee orgasm‘Oh, that sounds nice, in fact when I was married, I sometimes used to bring myself off when I was peeing. I didn’t tell you that because I thought it was dirty. In fact, my climax when I did it with a lovely big piss was so good. It’s a relief to see that you enjoy it too. She arrived on time, and as soon as she took off her coat, I. I gassed it forward as I pulled the Beretta 1911 from between the front seats. They forced me to swerve off course as they open fired with the small submachine guns that they carried. I answered back with gun fire of my own. The 1911 braked hellfire as I squeezed the trigger. One of my shots struck home as I watched the blood and gore fly from one of the gunmen’s legs. His company was quick to let me know they were not going to take this laying down as the light ammo slammed into the armored. She stood there, hands to her cheeks, looking forlornly at me, and cried.As hard as I tried to be, I could not be that cold-hearted. I took her hand and led her into the living room, and sat down beside her on the couch facing the cold fireplace. I waited until the squall passed, holding her hand passively, until she took it away to rummage in her coat pocket for a tissue. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes."What happened, Ray?" she asked. "I want to hear it from you. I don't want to hear it.
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