Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. he died not knowing that he would someday win the "coolest headstone" contest."Five rules for me... to follow for a happy Life"1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.5.. He comes and kicks seven shades of shit out of us, and he’s all sweetness and light after that. Or rats and snails and puppy-dog tails, whichever it is.” We all sort of stared at him for a minute wondering what the hell this last was all about, and he gratefully resumed his forgotten role before eventually wandering off. “Well, it does sound very interesting,” I smarmed, doing a very passable impression of Richard. “You must tell me all about it some time.” “Of course he should,” said Richard. Then we switched on the internet and saw more pictures of devastation and reporters telling their stories, but still nobody reported missing.“Well it looks like you are all alone in this big old world, are you still unaware of anything in your past”? Stephanie asked.“No, nothing Stephanie” I replied.“Call me Steph, almost everyone I know does, and Stephanie sounds so formal”. Steph said.“Ok Stephanie, I mean Steph”. I replied.“What shall we call you, I shall have to give you a name, what about. ’ He slid a tight-fitting hood over her head, cutting off her vision, and then he led her into his Domain. He propelled her to a modified prie-dieu, instead of kneeling down it had been raised so that one could stand at it but have somewhere to lean ones knees. She leant forward, hands just able to reach the upper part of the structure, knees leaning on their supports, and waited. The ribbons were pulling tight across her crack, burying themselves deeper in her flesh, and she was aware of.
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