After the time I've spent here, and the things I've learned since he died, I'm not so sure he was a man to idolize, after all. I don't mean to imply t...at I don't feel grief or sadness when I think about him, because I do. It's just that I'm starting to pity him a little. His work, his pursuit of money and power, were his whole life. I can't think of a single time that he chose to do something with me or Mom over work, if the choice presented itself. You, on the other hand, get upset when work. Some of them, I can't even find in the dictionary. Shit, why didn't I spend time reading like my mother tried to get me to do? Hanging with the guys when I was in high school seemed like the thing to do at the time, but I didn't learn much about anything that really mattered. C's and D's got me out of school, but I didn't learn shit. I wish I had been as smart as I thought I was then.He remembered a counselor telling him that he was reasonably intelligent, and the guy had tried to encourage him. "From your reaction when you arrived, I assume you have never had a chance to visit the cottage before?" "No, this is the first time I’ve been here and it's beautiful. I'm looking forward to seeing more in the daylight," he said and looked out over the lake. "I’m slightly disappointed though that I won't get the sauna and beer night I was promised by Brian tonight." It's funny how he has completely taken to this Scandinavian tradition." Yes, he’s been bragging about it since they got the sauna. " Heh. I laugh because honestly at that statement all i can do is laugh. If i get angry, protest, become involved, speak up about how degrading it feels to have women openly laugh at masculinity then i prove (as i'm sure this blog will eventually end up there, if so hello ladies) the statement right. But if i grin and bear it, not say a word and laugh at my brothers who do protest what i feel is the equivalent of blowing up feminism, then i only aid the problem. Don't get me wrong, I.
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