I was surprised when we got there that there was only men there. There was an older guy his name was Russell. I was a young 19 and he ...nd I got into quick conversation. As we talked I noticed his bulge in his pants,I grew curious about why he he looked horny. I asked him where the girls were,trying to take my mind off his pants so I wouldn't grow attention to myself. A lump grew in my throat when he told me that we were at a cock party. I looked at him . As the days continued Derek received more awkwardness, like a stubbornstain, as he more than once accidently worn a random article of hisgirlfriend's clothing. She instantly noticed, despite both his and herswere woman's clothing, and got angry at him insisting that he was goingto stretch out her clothes as well as somehow being confused whicharticle belonged to whom. It only got more confusing when they went outto a diner date and he was wearing a slinky dress as well. Still, heoccasionally. "Tell me Martin." I'm ashamed that I like wearing these pajamas and that I like feelingpretty. I mean I wanted to wear them as soon as I saw them, but then Iwas also ashamed of myself. And then I was ashamed of the fact that Itook advantage of your kindness in even saying that you didn't mind ifI wore them. I felt like I was being dishonest, and you've been so goodto me and you don't deserve to be treated like this." Martin! Enough of that. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You'reallowed to be. I dropped one in the pot plant next to the elevator and from a distance you watched me enter the car, the doors close as I travelled to the fourth floor. You followed after about a minute, folding the newspaper you were pretending to read and laying it on the table of the foyer. You walked casually towards the elevator, reached into the plant and retrieved the card with the room number folder wrapped around it. Now the sun was slowly setting. I had the curtains pulled wide open, the dull light.
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