I never really took any action, I never attempted to further the relationship we had, but I guess that I was seeing Casey in a different light, viewin... her now more as a victim. Damn it, I found myself actually feeling a bit sorry for her, what a fucked up childhood. As the weeks and months went by, I became... shit, what did I become? Was I more tolerant, more sympathetic? I don't know. I did notice that I was spending more time in her company. We were talking a bit more, and not always about. And so, I told her not to worry. I told her that if she really wanted to bewith me that I would give it a try. I told her a lot of other bullshit, endingit with a simple "...and I hope it won't ruin us as friends." Andthat is when we started on my little trip down my special, sadistic path. Almostimmediately I started mistreating the poor girl. I didn't beat her or anything.I just used her guilt, her need for approval and her submissive tendencies tomy advantage. I also took care to push her to. Oh no, he thinks I’m horrible, hideous, disgusting, he’s gay, he would prefer guys to me, he’d prefer to jerk off rather than sleep with me, ohshit ohshit ohshit.My inner monologue of self destruction is brought up short by his voice.‘I’ll bet it’s the champagne talking. I don’t think you’re ready, and I’m not myself.’‘You’re….not? Is it because you think I’m ugly?’He frowns. ‘No, I do not think you ugly, I think you’re….gorgeous. Don’t put yourself down that way. I’ve been around though, and. Feeling like the lad caught with his hand in the sweet jar I muttered an explanation, but the truth was that I had chosen it because I'd been excited by the subject matter, it didn't take Sara long to wheedle this out of me either."When do you watch these videos?" she asked."Whenever your mother is out at her bingo club," I grinned "she's usually gone until about midnight." Doesn't she ever wonder why you are so randy when she gets home?" she asked."She never bloody notices." I replied bitterly.
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