.. Helpline here ... What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and n...w her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the. “I hope mom disowns you!” And with that, she nearly jumped back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut in my face.“No, please, please don’t tell! I’m begging you!” I pleaded as I cowered in an attempt to cover myself.“Fuck you, you faggot panty-boy!” she screamed from behind the door, and I actually feared I was going to vomit from sheer panic.I was nearly in tears by now as I said to the door keyhole “please, please! I’ll do anything! Please don’t tell!”“Shut up, and get the hell away from. If Mrs. Carlson hadn’t been peeking out her window that night six months ago, she never would have seen the van that took her daughter away.With her description and James’ connections down town, James and Bill were able to track the van to the home of Virgil “Doc” Hamilton. It was Doc’s son, Hank, who had driven the van that night, along with his best buddy, Pete. A little persuasion by James and Bill, and Doc soon led them to the barn.“NNngggmm”Lisa looked over at the baby monitor, next to the. ‘Please, fuck me.’ His mouth was on her throat, his teeth nipping hard at the soft skin there, using his tongue to lave at the spot and then sucking upon it as she moaned and whimpered, wriggling against him. He pushed into her, amazed at her tightness, at how wet and hot she was, his hands finding her ass and holding her even as she tried to take more of him. ‘You’re so tight,’ he moaned, his mouth at her ear. ‘You’re so fucking tight and hot, Kaylee.’ And then he let loose of her, letting her.
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