A life he was not allowed a part of, a life he could not provide. After the pain and fear came hate and anger, followed by self-doubt. "Why, how had I...failed her? What have I become that changed us?"He remembered her words, telling him how he had changed. He didn't feel himself changed, but then he did. Walking into the bedroom to stare at him self in the full-length mirror he wondered, "When had all these changes happen? Why hadn't I noticed them?" His thoughts darkening, "I have changed and. " Really?" Arie said."And him claiming to be some sort of super-skilled sex god, too..." Zach said."Did he know it was your first time," Arie asked. "Did you tell him?" No," Jane said. "I didn't have a chance to. Everything just moved too fast." And how does this relate to Jeff," Brandon asked."Well... Russell wasn't my first time," Jane said. "—I mean, it was my first time, but it... wasn't. It wasn't like first times are supposed to be like." I dunno," Meredith said. Brandon's arm curled. I hope you don't mind." "Of course not, Lee." Barbara smiled, hoping the expression wasn't strained. She had hoped for a bit of a romantic dinner with Lee, but would never begrudge her young lover a visit with a friend. And certainly she would never do anything to make a friend of Lee's feel uncomfortable. "Please Denise, sit down. Would you like a drink?" The visitor slid into the booth on Barb's left hand side, even as Lee slipped in on the right side, putting Barb between the two of them.. "Michael sat rigid, unable to move or talk.Kathleen cocked her head to one side, enjoying the look of helpless bewilderment on his face. "Perhaps you're wondering about these new desires you suddenly have," she continued after a moment's pause. "Well, Mona, this may come as something of a shock to you?" Kathleen laughed. "I guess you are having a lot of shocks about now. But the fact is that these desires aren't new or sudden. You've fantasized about becoming a woman for some time now."Kathleen.
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