The pen suddenly moves as if enchanted. Ink flows across the white page, arching, circling. My heart soars… but all I've done is draw a large smiley...face.For fuck's sake! What the hell is that?I throw the notepad at the door. It hits hard, splaying out like the stupid dove that hit my kitchen window that morning. It thuds to the floor, loose pages fluttering in its wake. The pen, gripped in my right hand, is about to suffer a similar fate when the door opens a crack, disarming me. A familiar. “You have one-hundred and fifty pounds on your back, and you are still keeping pace with us. At least you are breaking a sweat today, and I can see your muscles flexing.”After running as hard as I can, carrying the minigun and ammo can, plus wearing the rucksack and weight vest, I felt more on par with others. I still out-distanced them by a mile before the gunnery sergeant had everyone stop and form back up.I had already set down the gear and rucksack when the gunnery sergeant called me over. He was very careful with me, very quiet and very beautiful. With my friend I often argued but I loved him, but it hurt me very hard when I was having sex because he had a very big "tool" :)My friend was going to Greece and told me to spend time with her boyfriend, not to leave her alone. I spent time together, remember that it was around the winter holidays, I was very relaxed and fun around him. On Christmas night he told me to stay at him overnight not to be alone, I broke up with my. I think it was that - the lack of fulfillment with a man - and the fact that Daddy and Aunt Prudence couldn’t keep their hands off each other whenever they were together, and often stole off to be alone together, that caused that little whisper to seep into my mind to the point that I would no longer have stopped any of the boys from mounting me. And yet, none tried.It was a very confusing and anxious and emotionally tumultuous week, I can say that.Sally and I talked about it, but only a.
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