“Oh, right! I sometimes forget you humans aren’t used to seeing a mermaid.”“A what?”“A mermaid. Haven’t you heard of them?”“Well, ye...h, but…” my train of thought meandered for a moment. Had I not banged a fairy a few weeks ago I would have thought I was dreaming or going crazy. Maybe both. “A mermaid, huh?”“Yes! My name is Tino Tau, what’s yours?”“Mel,” I said, still trying to catch up to the situation. “Did that whale bring me here on purpose?”“Tauihu? She sometimes helps lost sailors. Were. ‘Wow, I can only imagine how super amazing that would be!’ Then, while continuing the massage, I said ‘You don’t have to imagine.’ ‘What do you mean?!’ I continued the massage with my left hand, but grabbed a blunt out of my jeans and showed it to her. As soon as she saw it, her excitement skyrocketed even more. ‘Let’s go to my apartment and share this while you lie down on my bed and I continue the massage.’ The girl froze, obviously wanting to accept my invitation, but being reluctant to do. She hugged my arm."Jack? How much are you making doing your after school cleanup?" I'll be making $100 a week from now on." And you think you'll be able to survive on that?" I really don't have any expenses other than what I spend on Jill. I may decide to get a car some day and then I'll have more but for now it's fine." Good. Good. $100 a week, you say?" Yes, Sir." OK. So we'll drop you down to $95, Jillian. And you can give me your Amex."I felt her initial reaction as she tensed up on my arm.. You didn’t even make me lunch. And all the kid did was lay there on her fucking ass. We should make it bi-monthly or bi-yearly. This is so fucking unfair. Why the fuck do I have to visit her before she can even talk anyway? Can you explain that to me? This is BULLSHIT!”I laughed my ass off as he walked out the door, slamming it behind him. The sound of the door slamming was all it took to wake her up.MoeBetty ... I fucking HATE that bitch. I kept my cool long enough to get inside of the.
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