What if the last time they got me involved it was the last time? What if the stop doing it all together? Do I dare ask Nick to do those things to me?"...I know I tied him this morning. But what if he is not into it like Pete and Amber. I am hyperventilating. I take a drink of water. My hands are shaking. I start to wonder why I got involved in all of this. It is making me crazy. What if I would have told Pete I thought he was sick tying his loving wife up like that and to let her go. I would have. The stranger’s eyes swung from her convulsing and bawling form back to her father’s, and he nodded casually, then told her father that eighteen-hundred was good.Alexandra felt a horrible pit of icy betrayal in her stomach when her father nodded. The black man pulled out a sick thick wad of bills, then peeled notes off until her father grinned and left them alone in the den. The man prowled around her before literally reaching down and picking her up from the floor by her pretty and thin. It's all so boring.The voice in your head has been there for as long as you can remember. It's a quiet voice, an unassuming voice. It doesn't tell you to kill, it doesn't tell you that you were born in the wrong body, it doesn't push you to greatness. It always repeats the exact same thing whenever it speaks to you."You could do so much better."It doesn't affect you, at least you don't think it does. It's just a normal intrusive thought, that's what everybody says. You believe them. You tone. .. would you have... ?” She left it unspoken.He smiled at her and hugged her. She felt weak as he pushed his prick against her.“I’d have wanted to,” he said. “But no. I can’t do that any more.”She went weak in his arms, but stiffened again immediately.“Thank goodness,” she breathed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do when I come back.”“You’ll meet some handsome guy up there in the city,” he said. “He’ll want you as much as I do.”“But will I want him?” she asked, her face buried in his.
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