You talked about this other guy you met. You avoided my eyes. We shared a bottle of wine between the three of us and set a date to meet up with everyo...e again, to play cards, mundane rebels that we are. It stung like nothing else. Nothing ever happened. Lies to not break hearts. Seemed like a noble goal in itself. Still, secrets are just cherished lies, in any sense.One thing I know is that we are magnetic. A tug across miles felt through telephones and silence. I’ll reach out with an excuse,. But then Dad reminds me that when I get my bottom smacked my big sister Jen always takes me to my room afterwards and rubs cream on my sore bum and talks to me until I stop being upset. And then he asks me what kind of big sister did I want to be. And that makes me feel all tied up inside ‘cause I want to be like Jen is but that means I have to be nice to Estelle even though I hate her. And then I sit there and I think about that and I think that I don’t really hate her but I wish she’d be nice. I looked at her; she looked like shewanted some. "One grunt for 'yes,' Veronica, two for 'no,'" do you want some?" Shegrunted once. "Well, that could be tricky." I paused the movie, got upand threw a few strawberries and a some chocolate syrup into a blenderand made a rather gooey smoothie, I poured it into a bowl like mychocolate one, I tasted it, a bit more chocolaty than I planned, but itwas fine. I sat down beside her and grabbed, yup, you guessed it,another dildo, it was small. I thought you two would go out and get something to eat but dancing at a bar never entered my mind. Anyway, what upset John and then me was the flirting.”“I wasn’t flirting!”“Paula, I wasn’t there but I trust what John told me. He told me you were going table-to-table asking guys to dance. So you were initiating this, not the guys. When you got a bit too tipsy and the guys hands started wandering John got you out of there and took you home.”“He told you that?”“Yup. He also told me he stayed.
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