“Well, actually, I need your advice, mate, if you don’t mind,” I asked him. “I mean, you and Sarah, you’re still back together?”He nodded ...is head, smiling a huge grin.“How do you do it, I mean, how do you stay in love?” I asked.“Um, I don’t know, I guess you just keep loving each other,” he replied. “But that’s not what you really want to know, is it?” I shook my head. “Why don’t you tell me what’s bugging you?”“Ok, I’ll try to give you the condensed version,” I said. “Before I start, I’m. " It wasn't quite a dismissal, but it wasn't far off it.I took a sip of coffee. Naismith seemed to have the uncanny knack of turning instant coffee into industrial slurry. "Two months down under? Anything interesting?" Half a dozen assignments. Officially I was covering the end of the Ashes Tour. Not just the cricket, more a bit of background. A different angle on things. But before I went out I had a word with my other Editor; you know, the weekend mag? He suggested I might like to do a spot. For our next foot licking session a couple of hours later he put the handcuffs on my ankles and had me fondle him while I sucked his toes. It wasn?t as bad as I had thought it would be, having to lick feet was still the worst part and he used his own hands to finish himself off. Afterwards I wondered if this was really better than physical torture. By this time I no longer felt much like a human being, I was a sexual plaything and foot boy. It didn?t seem as though things could get worse but. "They're not as stupid as most two-footers," explained 'Mr. Bigfoot'. (I will maintain the twofooters nomenclature, as the UASL translations are untranslatable concepts.) "Although they are about as blind and deaf. You shouldn't assume that they know what is going on, make sure you clearly inform them of things you think should be obvious to anyone with eyes, ears, and a brain." The piebald mule known as Patches scoffed "Go teach your mother to suck eggs! I know how to coddle the twofooters. I.
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