”I was shaking now struggling not to sob but continued, “But I know I have to move on, to change. I have to forgive myself for what I’ve done. ...I have to hope my friend forgives me for what all has happened. The worst part is that I’m pregnant and because of the guys my boyfriend had me be with I don’t even know who the father of my baby is. How do I admit to my family I have no idea who the father is? I can’t picture myself ever telling them about everything I’ve done, or even part of what. I would like to have lunch in my own home." I smiled. Even so i'm sure that she got the idea, if I didn't see a doctor soon I was not going to be a happy patient.Eve smiled at the discomfort that I had caused the nurse. "Sweetie, I know that you don't have the authority to just summon a doctor here for every patient that wants to see one. but I really want to see a doctor this morning. I also have the meanest bitch of an attorney in the world. That isn't a threat, it's just a heads up." I did. ” What a fucked up night. Red faced, I quickly finished dressing and slinked out in shame. As if it wasn’t humiliating enough that I’d sucked a cock, but even worse I’d enjoyed it. I rushed home; dejected, humiliated, and feeling way too used, and immediately brushed my teeth and gargled, twice, then showered. But the aftertaste lingered for a very long time. Heck, 2-days later, it seems like I can still taste it, and it's making me queasy. Last night Barbara sent me an e-mail telling me how. "But that also raises a question?" I know and I have still have questions as to how," I said."Anything is possible if you want it enough Honey and I think we bothwant it," he said."We do but ..." No buts Gretchen, just let me handle it," he smiled as he placed hishand on mine. "You trust me don't you?" You know I do," I smiled."Good then its settled," he smiled.I turned in my letter of resignation the first day of school. I offeredto stay until they could find a replacement but they say I was.
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